Not by the hair on my chiny, chin, chin

I was driving to a business meeting today and as was customary for me, I started to put on my makeup in the car while I was sitting at traffic lights. Part of what I do when I put on my makeup is look for this one nasty, coarse black hair to pluck that I have had on my chin for years. I pluck and pluck and pluck, yet it always returns.

So today I flipped down the mirror in the bright beautiful sun to check for that hair. I was shocked at what I saw! It was a good thing I was stopped at a light because had I have been driving, I probably would have driven off the road. There on my chin, was not one hair...there were SIX! SIX ugly black course hairs; three on each side gleaming in the bright sun like they were proud to be sprouting from my chin.

I wiped at my face thinking maybe a few eyelashes fell and got strategically stuck on my chin. No dice, those suckers were stuck. I looked in the mirror again. My mirror betrayed me. Instead of me, I saw a prepubescent teen who was proudly bearing his six chin hairs while attempting to channel his inner beatnik. One chin hair was so long I swear I could have hung a bead from it.

How did this happen? Where did these come from? Will they come back? Will they bring friends? I need some answers.

Someone know a good plastic surgeon? I'm in need of some laser hair removal and lipo before my beard and post-baby belly starts having people confusing me with the Pregnant Man.