Bill's birthday surprise

Let me start by saying I am terrible with surprises. I mean really, really terrible. Surprises require you to fabricate stories to cover your tracks. I cannot lie. When I lie, I grin from ear to ear like a cheshire cat. I have no poker face. And I can't keep a fabricated story straight. Surprises also require you to keep your pie hole shut and not spit out what's going on. Again, another thing I can't do. Especially to Bill. I get that from my Mom. My Mom is the person when you want everyone to know something you tell her, "This is a secret, don't tell anyone." And within two hours everyone on her speed dial and email spam list knows the worst kept secret in town (come on Mom, you know it's true).


So generally, I just don't even attempt surprises. They'll just end up being a miserable failure, so why bother? Well, this year I decided I wanted to attempt a little surprise anyway. Bill's office had a few elements of personality hidden in it if you really looked. But it for the most part it pretty much said, "non-descript IT Manager's office...put your name here." So I decided I wanted to try to decorate his office a bit. Add some art, some pictures of the girls, some fun little distractions. I wanted it to be decorated so that when he entered his office on his birthday, it would be all set up.


I looked through his Blackberry and found a phone number of one of his co-workers. I arranged to have her let me into the office the night before when I knew Bill would be gone to take Reagan to swimming lessons. This required my lie. I told Bill that I wouldn't be home because I had to go pick up a laptop from a woman rolling off at my client. I told him this as I was busy dealing with bottles so I had an excuse not to look at him and keep my chesire grin turned away. Whew, he bought it! I was all set.

So the day came to decorate and his co-worker got me signed in and the security lady was nice enough to give me the key to unlock his office (thanks security lady!). His co-worker gave me a photo that his team had photoshopped that they wanted me to include in the decorating. Perfect! I started hanging things and putting out little gadgets and blowing up the moose head. Then it happened. My phone rang, it was Bill! Oh noes! I answered the phone and Bill asks me to get the truck emissions test done while I am out. "Ok" I eeked out, and we hung up. Whew, he bought it! Had he asked me a single question, it would have been all over with. All he had to do was say, "So what are you doing?" or "Where are you?" and I would have blurted out, "Standing on the desk in your office trying to hang a giant inflatible moose head. What are you doing?"

Ok, I realize that I shouldn't be whining about wanting to be an interior designer in one post and then talking about installing a giant inflatible moose head in the next. The irony isn't lost on me. But remember I was talking about wanting to add some personality to his office too, making it more non-descript. I can't explain it, but when I saw the moose head, it screamed Bill's office. That and I probably don't have any business being an interior designer, but we can analyze that in another post.

I finished the decorating, locked his office, and then couldn't wait to tell Bill what a clever girl I was. Oh, wait. I couldn't do that. Then it wouldn't be a surprise. I was dying to tell him and couldn't wait for him to see his office the next day. I actually managed to keep my mouth shut and act normal (for me) until he walked out to go to work the next day.

Woo hoo! I did it! I pulled off a SURPRISE! Hmmm...this opens a whole new world of possibilities for me. Watch out Bill! You don't know what I might think of next!


Bill took these pictures on his camera phone since I couldn't take pictures with my camera (I'll explain that fiasco in another post). You don't really see a lot of the desk accessories I added, but you can see the pictures of the girls, the Kandinksy print, and the infamous moose head I hung.




I'll be adding a few more things for him on Father's Day. No, it won't be a surprise.