You see a couple of years ago Bill and I started playing this "little" game called World of Warcraft (WoW). If you think I've just outed myself as a nerd for admitting that, I'd agree. But in all honesty that doesn't even scratch the surface of my nerdom. But that is another topic for another day. Anyway, we stopped playing the game about two years ago because it was absorbing all of our time. We weren't getting things done and we couldn't seem to play it in a casual, healthy way. So we quit. That was the last of the game until a few weeks ago when I went out of town. When I returned, I found Bill sitting on the computer playing WoW once again. It turns out someone hacked his WoW account (and later hacked his paypal, sending themselves $4,000 to Moscow). He received a notice from the WoW people and he just "had" to go in game and check it out and see what had happened. While he was there he just happened to pick up some things to do and the next thing he knew he was playing again. So what did I do when I came home and saw him playing? Downloaded two years of patches and reactivated my account.
So now I'm back to playing this stupid, addictive game and I am hating myself for it because things are already taking a back seat (not my kids, just other stuff). I waffle between calling and canceling my account and wanting to get on and play 100 times a day.
Why am I sharing all of this with you?
- To make myself accountable for things I need to be doing. By sharing it with others, now I feel I have to act.
- To have you convince me to stop playing this maddening game.
- To be frank and honest about myself as a person so that others can learn from my mistakes. My blog isn't a work of fiction. It is a work in progress about a family with four lives in progress. I have weaknesses and if exposing them to others can make a difference in some small way, then I'll be glad my blog and my weaknesses are exposed to public viewing and scrutiny.
- For my family. My blog is very much about my kids and my family. It is a record of our lives that I intend to publish in a book each year and hand to the girls when they are older. I want them to know and remember all of the good times and capture the beautiful pictures and remember the joy they bring us. But I also want the girls to know their mom isn't perfect, but she tries really hard. I will never ask something of them that I have never done or wouldn't do myself. I want them to know some of the things I went through that made me a better person in the end. I'm pretty sure playing WoW won't meet that end. I'm also pretty sure stopping playing WoW will.
So this post was supposed to be about the topics I am going to share with you in the upcoming days and I turned it into a giant rant about my addiction to WoW. I could erase all of the above, but I'm not going to. I'm just going to move forward.
Here's what I want to write about in the next few days:
- Reagan's birthday party
- Bailey's church blessing
- Pictures and stories from a family wedding we attended last week
- Milestones and stats for the girls (2 years and 4 months)
- The rest of the story on Reagan's "suspicious" rash
- Baby sign language
- Something clever and fun so that I don't feel so down in the dumps for being a lazy sludge and you have something entertaining to read. With any luck Reagan will pull one of her typical antics and I'll have plenty of material to go on.
Here's what I want to do in the next few days:
- Cancel my WoW account (Maybe I can just wait until after I hit level 52 and get a pair of "bracers of the putrid bile ooze." Ok, I'm joking...sort of.)
4 comments:
Oh Bridget, (I think) you are being too hard on yourself. You have to have something for YOU in this whole crazy mess called motherhood. Every day, I think to myself I should make that day a no-TV day and I never do it. Why?? Because I need that mental downtime to recharge.
Some nights, that's all I get done. Wednesday night, Nate and Alex had a double tantrum, both of them kicking and screaming because I told them to stop fighting in the kitchen. After I put them to bed, I drank a beer, laid on the couch, and watched tv ALL NIGHT.
I guess only you know if it is becoming an obsession or if it something you need to get a break. The blogging can wait. The chores around the house can wait. You've had a tough two years (and tough transition from 1-2), so maybe you need some time for you right now. And that's perfectly ok.
But I guess if you are asking us to tell you the reasons you should stop gaming... I will say if you think gaming is a net negative in your life, get rid of it. If it's a net positive, keep it. For me, TV is a net positive. And I have a rule that I can't use the internet after the kids go to bed bc otherwise I waste the entire night away. So internet after bedtime is a net negative.
We could so be friends in real life. I've never even looked at games such as WoW because I know I will get sucked in and love it. This is also why we don't have a Wii. So I watch TV, like Laura =)
All this time I have been checking your blog to find out about the rash and Reagan's birthday party and you have been playing video games? LOL! As you know I have had a similar struggle as of late and I appreciate you keeping it real but like Laura and Lindsay point out, we all need something for oursevles - for me it is TV and internet. I just wanted to ensure it had not become an all comsuming addiction and I think that is what you are grappling with. So I support whatever decision you make (not that you were asking for it) as long as I finally get to find out about Reagan's rash and see some pictures from her birthday.
I had to stop playing MarioKart on the Wii to write this, but really, it's ok to play games. I even think it's good for our minds to reboot with something that has nothing to do with the kids sometimes. Set a timer if it helps you control your time/guilt. I'm all for stress reduction and I think games can definitely be part of that.
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